


Assigned 'Together' At Dinner

by LokianaWinchester



Series: Jesus Christ Superstar [31]
Category: Jesus Christ Superstar - All Media Types
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jesus has hair that's the only specific thing, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Ummmmmmmm......, kind of, not specific to any production, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 08:00:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16929465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LokianaWinchester/pseuds/LokianaWinchester
Summary: People think Jesus and Judas are together when they are not. Then they realise that maybe they should be.





	Assigned 'Together' At Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Hey  
> I have written this in the dead of night within 40 minutes because I had the idea and otherwise I would have procrastinated on writing it. So.. it's 1 AM and this is Not beta read (except for Word lol). Hope you can enjoy it anyway.

People just assumed that they were together.

Jesus was affectionate, he was towards everybody, and Judas did not have it in him to keep him at a distance. Maybe there was more to it, maybe he had had feelings for Jesus since the beginning. Or maybe he was just touch-starved and ready to accept whatever affection he could get.

It had started with looks people shot their way when Jesus was not preaching (everybody was looking at Jesus when he was preaching anyway) it started with nods in their direction and pointed fingers. Judas did not like them; he did not know what they pointed at and they did not know why he should be of importance to them.

Jesus sensed his discomfort.

“Breathe, darling,” he used to say. “Just relax, I’m with you. They’re just looking at me.”

It helped. Jesus always helped. A gentle hand on Judas shoulder or his arm, then one on the small of his back, a touch so small yet touching something deep within Judas, was all it took to calm him down.

Judas supposed that this was what had further helped to spread those rumours about him and Jesus. Sure, they were close, but back then, there had been nothing there, nothing that they could have seen.

They did not even know about the rumour until Simon asked about it.

“You know that none of us would be angry, right?” Simon asked over dinner one night. Jesus looked up at him, eyes sharp, mind sharper. But he did not catch his meaning either way.

“About what?” he asked in return. Simon raised a brow. By now everybody was listening.

“That you and Judas are, -“ he hesitated. “like, a thing. Together.”

Judas looked over at Jesus, who was sitting next to him and managed to stay remarkably calm. Judas himself was not nervous, really. This assumption just got under his skin.

But before Judas could speak and before Jesus replied himself, he put his hand over Judas’ under the table, squeezing lightly in reassurance. He was there.

“We’re not together,” Jesus said calmly and laughed with the others. But Judas did not feel like laughing for some reason. He excused himself soon after.

The people, after all, seemed to know them better than they did themselves. Judas realised his feelings for Jesus that very evening; he dared not change his behaviour towards Jesus, because as much as it hurt, knowing that this was not real, that Jesus was like this with everybody and most importantly that he did not mean it in the very way Judas wanted him to, he craved Jesus’ touch.

he would not give it up. And so he suffered in silence and smiled and laughed with the others at the relationship he so badly wanted.

Then, Jesus’ touches became less frequent; he no longer patted his bare arm or put a hand on the small of Judas’ back; he no longer held Judas’ hand under the table or smiled at him in that special way of his. Jesus pulled himself out of Judas’ reach and the latter was too afraid to reach for what he wanted.

He thought it would be better like this, but their friends had not bought their tale of platonic friendship and had tried to pry into Judas’ thoughts.

“Are the two of you having a fight?” they asked.

“Did you break up?”

“Was there somebody else?”

The answer to each question was “No” and Judas told them so. He could only hope that Jesus would tell them the same thing, because Judas really did not known what had gone wrong.

Then one day, Jesus was back to his old self; from one day to the next, he was back to touching Judas to hugging him close, so that Judas could smell his hair and feel the warmth between them, back to small touches, fingers brushing and hand holding. It was bizarre and somehow, through these circumstances and actions, Judas fell even more in love with Jesus. It hurt him to know this and not being able to act on it, but as long as Jesus was content and happy with the situation, Judas was not going to destroy it. Of course all their friends noticed how their behaviour had changed again and shot winks at Judas and happy smiles. They clearly thought he had gotten back together with Jesus.

If only.

The crowds, of course, did not see this any differently. The pointing and the stares got more open, more rude in Judas’ opinion, but again Jesus was there with whispers and mumbles against Judas’ neck, breath hot against his skin while Jesus’ words flipped the switch inside of him that made him calm within a second.

“Don’t mind them.”

“Just concentrate on me.”

It was so easy to concentrate on Jesus and nothing else; dangerously easy. Jesus was terribly addictive and Judas could not resist. And then came the day where their friends spoke up again about their supposed relationship.

“Why do you guys never kiss in public?” Peter asked.

“You basically live in each other’s skin, but it’s only ever hands, you never kiss. Is that your thing?”

Mumbled agreement could be heard all around the table. Luckily Jesus stepped in before any of them got any dangerous ideas.

“Yeah,” he replied. “That’s kind of our thing. We’re too much in the public eye to flaunt something like that in front of everybody.”

The topic changed soon after that, but Jesus did not touch Judas anymore that evening. Or the next day. Or the next.

Judas was desperate. He needed the touch, he needed Jesus’ touch specifically and he needed a lot of it. Without, his longing was stronger, he wished for more but got so much less.

Jesus cornered him that night, after Judas had been close to tears all day, holding them back by sheer force of will.

Before he could say a word, Jesus’ lips were on his, tongue slipping into his mouth, head dipping to deepen the kiss. Judas gasped into Jesus’ mouth, closed his eyes and drove one hand into Jesus’ hair to keep him there while the other went to his hip, pulling him closer. Judas wished for this moment to never end. He would rather die right there in Jesus’ arms, than be neglected by him ever again.

Eventually Jesus pulled back, though not far, just enough to look at Judas from underneath his lashes, their heavy breaths still mixing in the few inches between them.

“So you do like me,” Jesus whispered.

Judas would have laughed if the situation was not as absurd.

“I love you, Jesus. I love you more than anything else in my life... saying that I like you is so much of an understatement that it’s insulting.”

He was not sure how he could speak so clearly, because his mind was completely muddled.

“I wasn’t sure,” Jesus admitted softly.

“The first time I was distant was because I wasn’t sure if I could go on as we had, when I was really in love with you.”

He smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

“And now?” Judas asked.

“I needed to... gather the courage to kiss you. To finally, finally kiss you.” He took a deep breath. “It took me three days. I’m sorry Judas.”

“No,” Judas replied. “It’s okay. Just don’t leave me again.”

In response, Jesus captured his mouth in another kiss, dragged his teeth over his bottom lip and slipped his tongue into Judas’ mouth, making him incoherent again, making him forget his worries and his doubts.

When they broke apart, Jesus entwined their fingers. He did not let go for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyaaaa Please be so kind and leave me kudos and comments, they literally keep me alive .. Please. Talk to me about those trash boys.


End file.
